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Marriage Advice from Senior Couples: What Really Matters Over Time

Written by Home Place of Burlington | Dec 15, 2025 5:00:00 AM

The key pieces of marriage advice that senior couples give are to prioritize friendship over perfection, learn to communicate without trying to win, choose commitment, especially during hard times, and keep showing up for each other in small ways. You should also be proactive in maintaining your emotional connection.

 

According to the Guinness World Records, the oldest married couple as of 2025 is Lyle and Eleanor Gittens, who married on June 4th, 1942. We'd all like to have a long and happy marriage of over 80 years, but it's no easy feat.

 

The best thing you can do is take marriage advice from other successful couples before you. Here's what elderly couples in Burlington, NC, should know.

 

What Are the Five Cs of Marriage?

The five Cs of marriage are five core principles that support a healthy and resilient marriage. If you practice them, you should be able to get through the transitions of aging and come out stronger.

 

They are:

  1. Communication: Helps navigate health concerns, finances, and lifestyle changes
  2. Commitment: Provides emotional security during uncertain seasons
  3. Compassion: Fosters patience and empathy as both partners age
  4. Compromise: Helps couples adapt to changing abilities, preferences, or routines
  5. Connection: Helps keep the relationship emotionally close through shared time, affection, and meaningful conversations
  6.  

What Is the Best Advice to Give a Married Couple?

No relationship is perfect, and as the years go by, it's normal for things to feel more and more difficult. Here are the best senior relationship tips to ensure you have a fighting chance.

 

Prioritize Friendship Over Perfection

One of the most common lessons that long-married couples share is that a strong marriage is built more on friendship than flawless romance.

 

You may initially be physically attracted to someone, but over the years, bodies change, energy levels shift, and life can throw in unexpected challenges. What will truly get you through the decades is liking each other and enjoying each other's company.

 

What's essential is emotional connection in aging, where you remain teammates, not critics.

 

Learn to Communicate Without Trying to Win

A huge secret to relationship longevity is learning how to talk without turning every disagreement into a competition.

 

It's very likely that in the early years of your marriage, you argued to prove who was right. But over time, you'll realize that protecting the relationship matters more than winning the argument.

 

This means:

  • Learning to listen
  • Pausing before reacting
  • Asking, "How can we solve this together?"

At the same time, you should also know how to set healthy boundaries. If you can do all this, then you can reduce resentment and build mutual respect.

 

Choose Commitment, Especially During Hard Times

Commitment isn't something you just talk about; after all, actions speak louder than words. Every marriage isn't a smooth one, and there will be times of:

  • Stress
  • Illness
  • Financial strain
  • Grief
  • Emotional distance

Love after retirement will certainly look different, and what will keep your marriage going is the decision to stay and work through problems. What's great is that many senior couples say that some of their strongest years came after their hardest ones, so they're worth working through!

 

Keep Showing Up for Each Other in Small Ways

It can be easy to take each other for granted, especially as the years go by. So it's crucial that you keep actively showing appreciation for one another.

 

This doesn't necessarily mean grand gestures, though. In fact, small and consistent acts of care repeated over the years will matter more!

 

Assisted living couples can try things like:

  • Making coffee
  • Checking in
  • Holding hands
  • Listening to the same story again
  • Sitting together at the end of the day

These small moments create a deep sense of being known and cared for.

 

Frequently Asked Questions

 

What Is the 5-5-5 Rule in Marriage?

The 5-5-5 rule in marriage is a relationship habit that's simple to remember, yet is also extremely beneficial in helping to keep your communication strong and emotional connection steady. This is the rule:

  • Spend five minutes a day checking in emotionally
  • Spend five hours a week doing something meaningful together
  • Spend five days a year focused on intentional time away or special shared experiences

For seniors, this can be especially valuable in navigating retirement, health changes, or lifestyle transitions. It can look like:

  • A daily conversation over coffee
  • A weekly outing or shared hobby
  • An annual trip or staycation

This structure can help prevent emotional drift.

 

What Is the 10-Minute Rule in Marriage?

The 10-minute rule in marriage is exactly what it sounds like: couples spend at least 10 uninterrupted minutes each day talking and truly listening to each other. This means that you don't have any distractions around, such as TVs or phones.

 

This can be especially meaningful for older couples since daily routines can become quiet and/or repetitive. Plus, emotional needs often change with aging, health issues, or retirement.

 

The purpose of these ten minutes is to create space to talk about feelings, concerns, plans, or simply reflect on the day. This can strengthen emotional intimacy and reduce misunderstandings.

 

What Is the 7-7-7 Rule in Marriage?

The 7-7-7 rule in marriage is designed to keep couples emotionally connected. The rule is:

  • Going on a date every seven days
  • Spending a night away every seven weeks
  • Taking a trip or extended getaway every seven months

This doesn't necessarily have to be expensive travel either. It could be a local outing, a weekend with family, or a short scenic drive.

The goal is to break routine and create shared experiences.

 

Heed This Marriage Advice

If you want a long and successful relationship, then it's wise to heed the marriage advice given in this article. While every couple is different and unique, there are still common themes that can help increase the chances of long-term happiness and contentment.

 

And if you move into a senior living community, it can be even easier to have a good relationship. When everything is taken care of for you, you can truly focus on making one another happy.

 

At Home Place of Burlington, we have live music and happy hours, so our residents feel like they're out in town without the hassle of travel! If you'd like to tour our senior living community in Burlington, NC, then get in touch with us today.